Time for some serious business. Buzzfeed level serious. Today we’re talking about something a Brit holds dear and oft claims Americans do not. Today we’re talking about… chocolate. One of the many things friends and family repeatadly warn you of before flying out is invariably how shit the chocolate in America is. “They put weird stuff in it! Anti melting agents!” they say. Well of course, they’re right. And you would to if you wanted to eat chocolate as opposed to brown peanut soup when you opened your Snickers wrapper. But that’s not the crux of the chocolate issue. No there is in fact an entirely different offender that no one warns you of…

A Choc By Any Other Name

In the US, this passes for a Milky Way bar:

An American Milky Way bar

Now I know what you’re thinking. Well, if you’re British and have any self respect, you’re thinking “What is this bullshit? That’s a Mars bar!”. You’re damn right its a Mars bar. This, people, this is what you should be warned of at Heathrow.

If you actually want a Milky Way, you’ll have to turn to the likes of a ‘3 Musketeers’:

3 Musketeers bar

But it just feels wrong, chomping down on this… this imposter, knowing full well his fluffy goodness doesn’t belong here, but instead in star covered blue wrapper. The wrapper that he deserves.